Seaview Stories Newsletter-5


July 18, 2010
Visitors for July to date: 22,891

Kowalski’s Non Alphabetical Dictionary for Dummies*


One-Eyed Lady: The Periscope aka ‘The Fat Lady’, or a very unfortunate woman.

Screw: A propeller, or what we’d like to do when we get shore leave.

Bug Juice: A ‘Kool-Aid’ type beverage we used to use to clean the heads, but had to stop ‘cause it was corroding the steel. We’re not called ‘iron guts’ for nothing.

Puss Rockets: Hot dogs, or a leaking missile.

Baboon Butt: Corned beef or that stupid white gorilla that ran amuck.

Hurt Locker: Sick Bay or the Captain’s cabin after a Captain’s Mast. Also the Skipper’s alternate cabin.

Captain’s Mast: When the skipper administers punishment (or praise), or a vital piece of equipment from his sailboat.

Oscar: Whatever object we toss over the side to test Man Overboard drills, or when Mr. Morton looked like that movie award.

Ping Jockey: Sonar operator

Sliders: Hamburgers and Cheeseburgers  especially after Angles and Dangles.

Angles and Dangles: Maneuvering the sub up and down. Especially handy for skiing practice.

Jenny: The Oxygen generator or that cute little dish in Accounting.

Baby: The original Flying Sub as in the Skipper’s little dividend.

Banana: Slippery yellow fruit or the Dive Team Leader’s wetsuit.

Apple One: The Diving Bell, or what we have left after one week at sea.

Poopy Suit: Blue coveralls Navy submariners wear. No wonder subs used to be called pigboats.

Gedunk: Treats not supplied by procurement. (Candy Bars, Potato Chips, etc. that we have to pay for)

Pecker Checker: The Corpsman or Doc.

Whiskey: NATO designation  for any old diesel Soviet Submarine, or what the Admiral keeps locked in his cabin or Observation Nose, usually  Glen Livet or Jack Daniels.

Uncertainty Zone: Area an enemy has traveled by calculating time and speed, or what we get into all the time. (mad scientists, aliens, monsters, missing bombs, ghostly possessions, hairy transformations, etc.)

Traffic: Spark’s reference to incoming or outgoing messages, or what we get stuck in on the freeway.

Sneak & Peek: Moving super slow and quiet to find any trace of enemy presence or activity. Also what the fan fiction writers want to do when we’re in the locker room.

Port: Left side of the boat, or an especially fine spirit (not ghostly) locked in the Admiral’s cabin.

Polishing the Cannonball: Taking perfect aim before firing.

Page 13: Disciplinary page in personnel records

Movement: Scheduled departure for a patrol or something Doc makes sure you had while in Sick Bay.

Emergency Blow: Pumping compressed air into Ballast Tanks to force to force water out so we can get to the surface in an emergency, also what some of the guys gotta’ have as soon as we hit port.

Corfam: Officer’s black shoes.

Burst Transmission: Coded message sent in less than one second. Also what Sparks says when the radio is out.


 *Disclaimer by Seaview Stories: First definition is actually used in the Navy, second, well, it could only happen aboard Seaview.

Caption Contest!
Email Catfish with your captions to appear in the next newsletter.

Caption Challenge Picture

Inflatable Question
In one of my favorite episodes,The Human Computer, when all's well and Doc is finished bandaging Crane's damaged ankle,Morton is surprised Lee wants to get right back to work.  
Nelson jokes that he doesn't want his job taken over by the mega computer.
Lee agrees then adds "And you can't borrow $10 from that on a Saturday night!"
Well, I did a little calculating, or rather Dollar Times.com did, and discovered that in 1965 ten dollars would have had the same buying power as about $69.21,
So, I put to you a question, or rather 4:
What would a meal back in '65 have cost for the three friends?
Where did they go?
What did they have?
And last but not least, who paid?
Any takers? Bonus points for your answers or even a story! Or maybe a free pencil.

*Seaview Wines (Yes, there really are Seaview wines.)
The winery is in McLaren Vale, South Australia. They've been in business since 1850 but only renamed their sparkling wines Seaview Wines in 1951.
Their  newer variety of wines are made from Barbera, Nebbiolo and Sangiovese grapes.
Traditional  Seaview wines are made  from cabernet sauvignon, riesling, semillon, Grenache, chardonnay, verdelho, sauvignon blanc and shiraz grapes.
I would love to try any of them, but alas, my medications prevent me. Anyone already familiar with these? Let us know your opinion!


While just about everyone knows about the USS Nautilus and her trip under the North Pole ice cap, not to many civilians know that it was the USS Skate, under the command of James F. Calvert, that was the first sub to actually surface at the Pole.


In addition, the men of the Skate conducted some research experiments, and scattered the ashes of noted Sir Hubert Wilkins there*.


*Sir Hubert Wilkins was an Austrailian polar explorer,  pilot, soldier, geographer,orthinologist,and photographer. His life reads like a Harrison Ford movie, including the little known fact that he actually rented a surplus WW 1 submarine (for one dollar), renamed it Nautilus (yes, this is a true story), to sail to the North Pole. The trip was a disaster, plauged with breakdowns and what he was convinced of as sabotage.(the diving planes were found to be missing only 500 miles from the Pole) In the end the trip was aborted and the sub, unsalvageable, was sunk by permission, near a Norweigian fiord.


To read more about this remarkable trailblazer, these are justg  few of the  websites containing information about this remarkable voyage:





A little bit about the boat herself. Photo shows the Re-Christening of the modified and mothballed USS 0-12  to  to the Nautilus (SS-73). (Isn't re naming a boat bad luck?)


Built in 1916, she had a maximum speed of 11 knots and a crew of 29 at that time. Sponsored by Mrs. Homer S. Cummings on 29 Sept, 1917, she was commisioned 18 Oct, 1918 and commanded by Lt. Cmdr. J.E. Austin and decommissioned after only five and half years of service.(Primarily in the Panama Canal Zone), then joined the mothball fleet until she was struck from the Naval Vessel Register 29 July 1930 and converted by the Philadelphia Navy Yard specifically for the Wilkins expedition.
At her 're-Christening', Lady Suzanne Bennet Wilkins (Sir Hubert' Wilkin's wife) did the honors using a bottle of ice water (Brrr.-well it was Prohibition). One of the guests was none other than Jean Jules Verne, the noted author and visionary's gandson.

Lieutenant Commander Sloan Danenhower, USNR, a Naval Academy graduate from the Class of 1907, and recipient of the Navy Cross during WW1, was the captain of NAUTILUS’s 18-man crew. He later retired as a Lieutenant Commander.


See 'Sabotage in the Arctic' by Dr. Stewart B. Nelson, (yes, that's his name) oceanographer, who's expedition discovered the skuttled 'Nautilus' at 1,138 feet under.
The Real Truth About the Wilkins Polar Sub by Alfred Albelli (Popular Mechanix-Jan 1932)

Questions and Answers
Q. What kind of beans are served aboard submarines?
A. Navy Beans of course...however, too many could result in an explosive situation.
Q. Is 'Mister' only used for the Executive Officer of a submarine?
A. Actually 'Mister' may be used for any officer below the rank of Commander.
Q. Who are Kowalski's best buddies other than Patterson and Riley?
A. Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker.
Q. What kind of wine does Seaview serve to visiting dignitaries?
A. Seaview Wines, of course.*



"Now this is what happens why you have a distillery aboard a submarine!"


I don't know what is it, but I wonder what Bobby Flay* could do with it.
*Bobb Flay is a noted chef and often challenges fellow chefs to  'throwdown' contests. I bet Cookie would win, though.