Seaview Stories Newsletter #24


Memo

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

Hi Joe,

I’ve changed my mind about our planned fishing trip along the Mississippi. Frankly, I don’t think I want to see another catfish in my life. Sorry.

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Cheech, Lee,

I got the boat and campsites all rented and everything! What the hell happened? You not still sweet on that Agent Catfish are you? It’s a psychological thing with the name?

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

It has nothing to do with her! And I’m not sweet on her, yikes, she’s  like a sister or aunt to us for Pete’s sake! It’s just…and you’re not going to believe this, but we ran into some mega mutations of catfish ten times bigger than the Mekong catfish, and they put some pretty big dents into our hull. We'll have to finish repairs in port!

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Is that all? C’mon, show a little backbone. You run into  mutations all the time on that sub of yours. Remember that giant squid? Didn’t keep you from enjoying calamari later on, as I recall.

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

It’s not just the giants, it’s the entire species! Remember that assignment in the Amazon when that ‘Candiru’* almost swam up our..er…well you weren’t exactly in the mood for any catfish regardless the size later either.  

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

That’s because I came down with Jungle Rot, we were being chased by the unfriendly drug runners we were trying to nab. And I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of food on the run!

 

Now, however, I can just taste some freshly caught catfish or better yet the farmed stuff which is much better and doesn’t have to be soaked in buttermilk to get the sort of muddy taste out of it. The fish farmers  feed them better than cattle, did you know? Mostly soy, and the water's regularly filtered. Still, a lot of folks down south swear by the river cats. And it's an adventure, Lee. Think Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer!

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

If the farmed stuff is so great, why go out  fishing for them at all? Let’s just go to a restaurant or something if you’re so desperate. Still, don’t expect me to have any. I still don’t trust them. Especially after I nearly got electrocuted by some of the Admiral’s  electric catfish.* 350 volts they were, each!

As for an adventure, I've had quite enough lately, thank you very much.

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Regarding the amps you got, it was your own fault for forgetting to turn the light on in the lab before retrieving your wire cutters left right next to the tank. Sloppy boat, Captain!

Okay, you're not interested in an adventure down the muddy Mississipi, how about the adventure taking a hand at the helm of the rental. 

And she's red, Lee.

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

Well, excuuuuuse me about the volts! I had a lot on my mind.  

Red, huh?

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Yeah, probably Miss August was on your mind, like she was on mine. By the way, August is National Catfish Month, so you could try being patriotic and join me for this trip regardless of all the other excuses you've come up with.

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

National Catfish Month was created by the farmers to stimulate the fish farm industry, so there.

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Be that as it may, President Reagan initiated a National Catfish Day. So what it it was in June, you get the idea. Lee, you really gotta’ get over this phobia of yours. It’s just a fish.

 

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

Phobia? Phobia? Were you in Florida when it was (and still is) being over run by walking catfish*? Blasted things are an invasive pest! Doesn’t matter that scientists are intrieged by them. And don’t forget, a sting from the striped eel catfish* can kill you, and the Mekong catfish can swallow you whole! Is it any wonder I don’t like the damn things?

 

From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

To Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea

Re: Fishing trip

 

Get over it! They still taste good don’t they? C’mon, be a sport, come fishing with me. Think of it as revenge…er…therapy as we fry them over the campfire.

 

I've got some special batter mix from Agent Catfish. We can use what's leftover for hushpuppies, and I know for a fact that you can never get enough of them!

Think of it, Lee. A little R&R away from all the stress and strain aboard Seaview and at NIMR. And, after dinner, S’mores.….yeah…I'm already stocked up with chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows…

 

 

From  Cmdr. L. Crane

SSRN Seaview headed home.

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

Oh very well. Nelson’s offered to use the flying sub to pick you up at Pearl, and take us to the ‘ole Muddy’ and the first campsite himself. Seems he wants to hook a rediscovered species for his lab that he’s heard about believed to have been extinct. I wish it still were. 

 

From Adm. H. Nelson

NIMR

To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson

ComSubPac

Re: Fishing trip

 

Glad you finally convinced Lee to go with you on a little R&R.  Those S’mores did the trick.
Thanks for letting me tag along. I really want to snag this Dino-Catfish that's been reported along some of the estuaries.  Iwonder if I can use some of those hush puppies  for bait?
 

giantcatfishwindow.jpg

IF THEY COULD ONLY TALK

"Hey guys, lookie here...you can see right into the gullet of this hard skinned whale we bumped into..."
 
"Look's like it's eaten a bunch of humans..."
 
"They don't look so uncomforable for folks who've been eaten..."
 
"What's that over there? "
 
"Gee, I don't know, looks like a guy with a spoon and an old fashioned bucket...let's get outa' here!"
 
* Irwin Allen used a bucket and spoon to signal the actors when to rock and roll for the camera.
 

candiru_pic1.jpg
Photo courtesy Wikepedia

Candiru, aka 'Toothpick' fish, is a very tiny fish that is attracted to, of alll things, urine, and there are documented cases, primarily along the Amazon River, of the creatures leaping up into a man's urine stream, entering the offending organ, swimming up as far as possible and latching inside the urethra with barbed teeth. It must be removed surgically, or the organ  amputated to avoid severe complications and even death.
This is not a fish to toy with.
Solution? Don't pee in the Amazon.

stripedeelcatfishswarm.jpg

Divers beware!
 
Stiped Eel aka Coral Catfish
A sting from this can hurt, and in some cased be fatal.
 

giantcatfish.jpg
Photo orig. source unknown

This outsized catfish was hauled in by three folks in Spain, even with a broken rod. this fish wieghed in just under 400 pounds. (The Mekong Catfish is about 700 pounds)

walkingcatfish.jpg

The 'Walking Catfish' is a native of the Far East, and was accidentally released in Florida from the aquarium trade by escaping from a truck transporting brood fish or from a brood pond or both.
 
This fish, has invaded fish and aquaculture farms in Florida, and special fences have been built to help prevent further intrusion.
 
It's been so bad that laws were established to prohibit ownership of Walking Catfish in Florida. However, that won't stop them from slithering accross the highways at times to greenr or wetter pastures so to speak.

electriccatfish.jpg
Photo courtesy Wikepedia and GNU Free Distribution

The Electric Catfish can generate between 300-500 volts, though the charge hasn't been known to kill humans.
 
Scientists have actually been able to condition their specimens to discharge their electricity on signal to receive food.
 
Do we see some shades of Dr. Gamma  and a new secret weapon to disrupt the world's power supply?
Or will we see our favorite Admiral  utilize them to supply the world with cheap, regenerative power? Only time and Irwin Allen fans know.

Joe Jackson's Fried Catfish and Hush Puppies

 
Catfish fillets
Buttermilk
1 large box of Cornbread Mix
1 chopped onion if desired
1-2 eggs
 
Heat oil in skillet.
Soak fillets in buttermilk about 15-30 minutes, drain, and pat dry. Reseve buttermilk for later.
Season fish to taste (this will vary by locale and personal taste. I prefer salt, pepper and a pinch of paprika)
dredge in straight cornmeal mixture
Fry til golden brown on bottom, turn and fry til other side is the same.
Remove and keep warm in oven.
 
Using remaining buttermilk and make a bater  with rest of cornbread mixture. Add the chopped onions and eggs. Mold by hands into balls.
Fry in the heated oil til golden brown.
Salt and pepper if desired.
 
Serve fish and hush puppies together. Tartar sauce and ketchup are good with both.