Memo
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
Hi Joe,
I’ve changed my mind about our planned
fishing trip along the Mississippi. Frankly, I don’t think I want to see another catfish in my life. Sorry.
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Cheech, Lee,
I got the boat and campsites all rented
and everything! What the hell happened? You not still sweet on that Agent Catfish are you? It’s a psychological thing
with the name?
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
It has nothing to do with her! And I’m
not sweet on her, yikes, she’s like a sister or aunt to us for Pete’s
sake! It’s just…and you’re not going to believe this, but we ran into some mega mutations of catfish ten
times bigger than the Mekong catfish, and they put some pretty big dents into our hull. We'll have to finish
repairs in port!
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Is that all? C’mon, show a little
backbone. You run into mutations all the time on that sub of yours. Remember that giant squid? Didn’t keep you
from enjoying calamari later on, as I recall.
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
It’s not just the giants, it’s
the entire species! Remember that assignment in the Amazon when that ‘Candiru’* almost swam up our..er…well
you weren’t exactly in the mood for any catfish regardless the size later either.
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
That’s because I came down with Jungle
Rot, we were being chased by the unfriendly drug runners we were trying to nab. And I wasn’t in the mood for any kind
of food on the run!
Now, however, I can just taste some freshly
caught catfish or better yet the farmed stuff which is much better and doesn’t have to be soaked in buttermilk to get
the sort of muddy taste out of it. The fish farmers feed them better than cattle,
did you know? Mostly soy, and the water's regularly filtered. Still, a lot of folks down south swear by the river cats. And
it's an adventure, Lee. Think Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer!
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
If the farmed stuff is so great, why go
out fishing for them at all? Let’s just go to a restaurant or something
if you’re so desperate. Still, don’t expect me to have any. I still don’t trust them. Especially after
I nearly got electrocuted by some of the Admiral’s electric catfish.* 350
volts they were, each!
As for an adventure, I've had quite enough
lately, thank you very much.
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Regarding the amps you got, it was your
own fault for forgetting to turn the light on in the lab before retrieving your wire cutters left right next to the tank.
Sloppy boat, Captain!
Okay, you're not interested in an adventure
down the muddy Mississipi, how about the adventure taking a hand at the helm of the rental.
And she's red, Lee.
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
Well, excuuuuuse me about the volts!
I had a lot on my mind.
Red,
huh?
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Yeah, probably Miss August was on your
mind, like she was on mine. By the way, August is National Catfish Month, so you could try being patriotic and join me for
this trip regardless of all the other excuses you've come up with.
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
National Catfish Month was created by the
farmers to stimulate the fish farm industry, so there.
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Be that as it may, President Reagan initiated
a National Catfish Day. So what it it was in June, you get the idea. Lee, you
really gotta’ get over this phobia of yours. It’s just a fish.
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
Phobia? Phobia? Were you in Florida when it was (and still is) being over run by walking catfish*?
Blasted things are an invasive pest! Doesn’t matter that scientists are intrieged by them. And don’t forget, a
sting from the striped eel catfish* can kill you, and the Mekong catfish can swallow you
whole! Is it any wonder I don’t like the damn things?
From Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
To Cmdr. L. Crane
SSRN Seaview somewhere at sea
Re: Fishing trip
Get over it! They still taste good don’t
they? C’mon, be a sport, come fishing with me. Think of it as revenge…er…therapy as we fry them
over the campfire.
I've got some special batter mix from Agent
Catfish. We can use what's leftover for hushpuppies, and I know for a fact that you can never get enough of them!
Think of it, Lee. A little R&R away
from all the stress and strain aboard Seaview and at NIMR. And, after dinner, S’mores.….yeah…I'm
already stocked up with chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows…
From Cmdr.
L. Crane
SSRN Seaview headed home.
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
Oh very well. Nelson’s offered to
use the flying sub to pick you up at Pearl, and take us to the ‘ole Muddy’ and the first campsite himself. Seems
he wants to hook a rediscovered species for his lab that he’s heard about believed to have been extinct. I
wish it still were.
From Adm. H. Nelson
NIMR
To Lt. Cmdr. J. Jackson
ComSubPac
Re: Fishing trip
Glad you finally convinced Lee to go with you on a little R&R. Those S’mores did the trick.
Thanks for letting me tag along. I really want to snag
this Dino-Catfish that's been reported along some of the estuaries. Iwonder if I can use some of those hush puppies
for bait?