Turkey Day Memo
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Am asking about my
turkey dinner order for Seaview. Just remember this time that the turkey
is fresh. We don’t want another case of tummy troubles at sea.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Did you heat
them properly? Not our fault if they were contaminated by all that radiation aboard a nuclear sub.
From: ‘Cookie’, SSRN
Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s
Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
You guys cooked em’ so all we had to do was
reheat!. And they weren’t glowing at all. I’m telling you they were past their prime.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Your taste buds must be affected by all that recycled
air. Probably still breathing same stuff since Seaview’s launch. If you were so dissatisfied, why aren’t you cooking Thanksgiving Dinner for your fellow bubbleheads? Perhaps you don’t
know how?
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
I only
got two hands, bud. Have you ever had to cook Thanksgiving Dinner for over 125 souls? Each of em’ arguing over what
they want. Ham or Turkey? Which
stuffing?Oyster, bread, apple, cornbread, etc..
Which pie to have, pumpkin, apple, cherry? Cranberry relish or cranberry salad? Green bean casserole
with french fried onion rings or sauted with almonds? Candied yams or sweet potato fries? If that's not enough, then there’s
Mr. Morton…well, that’s a different story. Just send us our
Thanksgiving dinners, just like Pilgrims had. But fresh, fresh, fresh.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Stuffing is when it’s baked in the bird, it’s
Dressing when it’s cooked on the stovetop. You sure you want the Pilgrim Special? Doesn’t come with Pumpkin pie.
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaveiw
To: Chopper Chuck’s
Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
No pumpkin pie? Which kind then, apple, or cherry?
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
No pie at all. The Pilgrims didn’t have flour.
No flour, no pie. And for that matter, no bread; no stuffing; no potatoes (they thought the spuds were akin to Deadly Nightshade.) They also didn’t have any butter.
No cider either unless you want a real belly ache from fermented crabapples. That’s the only apple native to North America till later immigrants brought their own and planted their own orchards or let nature
take it's course.
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s
Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
But they did have turkey didn’t they?
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Possibly but nobody knows for sure. All we know
is Gov. Bradford sent out some men to go ‘a fowling’. For all we know they had pigeons. There was venison, though.
And fish, berries, watercress, lobster, dried fruit, clams, more venison, and plums, not to mention boiled pumpkin.
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s
Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Eeeyyooo. Perhaps I should reconsider and go with
a more modern tradition.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Hey, it was New England,
what’d you expect? They used what they had. Oh yeah, thanks to the Indians they also had a kind of fried cornmeal, and
corn mush, flavored with maple syrup. Decades later it became Indian pudding, a kind of Hasty pudding made with cornmeal and
molasses.
Actually, Cookie, I'd choose the Pilgrim Special.
You can’t get more American than that.And you being aboard Seaview, well,
it's kind of patriotic.
Besides was just informed the Pilgrim Special is
all we have left, take it or leave it.
From: ‘Cookie’,
SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
Okay. But fresh turkey is a must.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: ‘Cookie’, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
We personally guarantee the freshest turkey possible
for your table tomorrow..
From: Capt. Crane, SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner.
Order received. While I enjoyed the fish and clam dinner with corn mush, I have to tell you that my crew is rather unhappy with
the Pilgrim Special. It’s a ‘comfort food’ thing, wasn’t
at all like Mother made. (Actually, in my case it was better, she’s not a good cook, ) but even I have to complain that
the dessert of boiled pumpkin was rather bland, and I had to overpower the XO for the additional butter and cinnamon it needed. I’m sure it was a healthier dessert than pumpkin pie, but even our Chief Medical
Officer was disappointed.
However, what the devil are we supposed to do with
a live tom turkey?
Our chief culinary specialist aka Cookie is a chef, not a butcher. And frankly, we’ve developed a
soft spot for ‘Tom’ ever since he started to follow Riley around
gobbling along with some of his Beach Boy’s songs.
I’ve taken the liberty of giving ‘Tom’
an official ‘pardon’ and will be granting him the rank of Sea Turkey Second Class.
From: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
To: Captain Crane, SSRN Seaview
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner
We do apologize Captain. Oh, not for the Pilgrim
Special. The meal is historically correct. As for our feathered friend, there
must have been a mix-up in shipping.
PS. I
don’t suppose ‘Tom’ knows ‘Fun Fun Fun’? Animal Planet is having a special on unusual pets.
From: Capt. Crane, SSRN Seaview
To: Chopper Chuck’s Catering and Food Delivery
Re: Thanksgiving Dinner.
Sea Turkey First Class Tom is not a pet, but a valued
member of my crew. After all, I felt obligated to promote him, being a Crane. Birds of a feather you know.
Besides, when the Chief rants ‘You Turkey!’
to a miscreant crewman, he’ll know he’s not the only one aboard.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Capt. Crane.